We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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