every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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