Me. At least after what I've been through.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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