he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
