...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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