I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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