and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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