There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
