How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
