So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
