Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What a dumb baby whore.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
