Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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