Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
