I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
