So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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