dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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