Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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