Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
