i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
