Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize