NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
