seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
His nipple licking is glorious
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