Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
