porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
