If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize