Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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