your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Someone signed my nipple.
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