You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
