Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
