I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You can't motorboat a personality
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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