he shaved USA in his pubs
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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