u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
