you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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