I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
