:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
