..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize