Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize