I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
