The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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