If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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