Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
