hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize