I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
