I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
