so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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