20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Boobs are out for the taking
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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