I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize