she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
