she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize