you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
