We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
