is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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