don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
