Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
