Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He shit in the fireplace
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
