can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
