Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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