Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
