There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
