I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
