you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
